Yeah. My sister’s pregnant. By now, I have accepted that fact fully. And yeah, whatever. I’m fine with it. No more confusing feelings anymore. LOL
It has been a week since they have announced they are getting married… and she’s pregnant. My parents were cool with it… on the outside. Looking at them, I know they’re just trying to be. On the inside, I know they feel something wrong. But yeah. What can they do? It’s there.
And me? Well, I do have a hunch about it. I follow my sister through Twitter and she has been posting stuff that are kind of like hints. Not sure about it, but I do have a feeling that I’m right and doubting is out of the option. So my mind didn’t dwell on that fact. Instead, what’s going in my head is how my parents (especially my mother) would react. I imagine her crying and throwing stuff and getting angry and all that stuff (but dang, they’re cool with it so whatever). And then… they confirmed through the announcement.
What did I feel that time? I was actually amazed… of myself (no, I’m not narcissistic). I was so sure of it just for the vague tweets my sister has. And I was right about it. Daaaaang~ I’m one fine psychology practitioner (then poses proudly).
But what’s surprising about me is what I felt once silence sank in. I was like… sad about it. Ever since I was small, I have followed what my sister does… until I was in college. My sister has a very big influence in my life. You could say, I almost have a sister complex (which I think not almost but I really do have one). My mother would have told me to not do something but I’ll still do it unless my sister also says don’t do it. In fact, I think she has the greatest influence compared to the rest of my family. So going back… It felt that my sister’s attention to me would be divided to me and Patuti (their nickname to the baby). No, scratch that. It felt that all the attention given to me would be transferred to Patuti and I’ll be gone. It’s as if I have been the center of attention for the family but then I suddenly had a baby sister and I wasn’t the center of attention anymore. Elder/middle child feels here. It sucked. But when I realized that I was having such feeling… dang~ I’m proud of myself again. I’m using some developmental psychology stuff here, guys. I have been using my psychology stuff more often these days. So, I got over it after a good two to three hours sleep. Then, flat affect again.
Now I’m perfectly fine with it. It’s just another fact in life that I have to accept. I’m a very easy-going person. I accept what the world presents to me. So yeah, rock on le sis! Rock on Patuti!