Friends… Only if with benefits.

I’ve been seeing a lot of posts from some of my online friends about this topic. People only go to them, be friends with them if they need something from them. Well, here are my thoughts about this.

If it happened during the old times that there wasn’t much technology and the only entertainment was to go out of the house, go to friends and something like that, you could say that they are probably just “using” you for their benefit. But I’m not saying that all people who does that are “users”. It’s just, there are higher chances that they are indeed “users” if you speculate that they are “users”. It would be easier to understand if you look at how it is right now.

One of the popular concepts in psychology is Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (Google it if you want to know more). Basically, it comprises of stages an individual has to comply with to go on another stage. And it’s ultimate goal is to reach self-actualization. If you notice above, one of the needs is belongingness and love where friends are included. And here is where my point will start.

Before we don’t have that much technology that people find belongingness in the actual presence of friends. But it is VERY different now. We have the latest and most advanced technology. Moreover, WE HAVE INTERNET!!! We have so many social media sites. So instead of the actual people, they can easily access these cyber friends and already comply with their belongingness needs.

If their belongingness needs are already complied with, they won’t have that much motivation (where these kind of concepts are usually used) to go to the actual person and build a good relationship. But if these cyber friends can’t provide the needs they have, since they are only cyber, that is the time they go to their physically existing friends and get what they need.

Somehow, yes, it sounds like a “user”. But we have to understand. It is how our generation is already. We have this imaginary (and cyber) world where we SO BELONG that the actual world is kind of not so nice anymore. Who doesn’t want to belong? Who wanted to be ousted? If there is, maybe very few. So you can’t really blame them if they stay just online and not go to you. The actual world will crumble their illusion of being looooved.

***I hope I’m not just babbling nonsense. 😅


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