I don’t really like birthdays.

No. I’m not playing on words or anything like that. I literally don’t like birthdays. In fact, I don’t like any special day at all. Even a bit.

Special days, like birthdays, makes one think he is special, at least for that day. Well, it is actually true. That is why it’s called special days, isn’t it? Bu that is why I hate it. It make me think I’m special for that day. It makes me think I rule that day. It makes me think that I have the power over my day. That is what it makes me THINK! In reality, I’m not that special. I don’t rule. I don’t have any power. It is always others that does the decision for MY day. It is always others having fun. I don’t really have fun with most of my birthdays since I could remember.

If my memory serves me right, I only like three of my birthdays. In rank, the third is when my church had a medical mission the same day as my birthday. I liked it because I’m not the focus of the day. Plus, I’m helping others. Second is when I had my birthday last year. I was in my OJT that day. I only had one of my classmates celebrating it. I only liked the day part since my family had this celebration in the evening without even asking me what I want. The first in rank is my birthday way long ago. I forgot which it is but I do remember what I did that day. My mother went to her province to fix something days before. Then my father is at work (and I told him to go to work). My sister is away. I told them I’ll be celebrating with a best friend of mine so they don’t have to join me, which is totally not true. I just wanted to celebrate it on my own. So they weren’t there and I did celebrate it on my own. Alone! That’s why I like it so much. I’m alone and I love it! I had the control on what I want to do. I had the control on where I want to go. I had the control on the possible things I could control! That’s why I love it. Yeah.

But as I’ve mentioned earlier, that isn’t the case on most of my birthdays. So I don’t really like birthdays. People *ehem-family-ehem* think such days have to be celebrated with them. I don’t think so. I like it on my own. Because of that, sometimes, normal days are much better than special days. I can be on my own on normal days without being asked why I’m alone.