Dating to be Married

(c) not mine

I saw this post from one of my Facebook friends and boom! It hits home! 

I’ve had this thought for a while, like around a year or more. When I let someone court me, I’m trying to assess if he is a husband material and not just boyfriend material. And when I date that person, like a long relationship, and he tries to propose to me and by that time, he can support a family and I’m also ready to support a family, then with no doubt, I’ll say yes.

Okay. I’ll elaborate things up. First, the courting part. With the current generation, courting isn’t really a thing. It’s doesn’t really mean what it supposed to mean. I think back then, courting is doing everything a guy has to just to please not only the girl but also the parents of the girl. You know, to make the parents let their precious daughter be in the hands of the guy. It is a trial, a test. It would the basis if the girl would say yes to a relationship or not. It doesn’t mean that if the guy courted the girl, the girl will be his already. But now, I don’t think so. Yes, it is still a test. But it’s like a super easy entrance exam. Once you’ve taken this super easy test and complied to the requirements then enrolled, you’re in. The guy just have to make the girl let him court her. If the girl lets the him, it gives the impression that after the “courting process”, the girl would eventually say yes and it’s seems that the girls have to do it in that way. Which shouldn’t be. Most of the cases nowadays seems to be that way. Guys (and girls also take note), you have to know that courting can and may also lead to a “no”. But since it’s how the world goes, you can’t really do anything about it anymore, at least most of the time.

And that’s why I said what I said. Letting the guy court me would mean, “Yes. I like you already. I really fancy you. You can be my boyfriend. But I’m still thinking if you’re my possible future husband.” You may think that I’m thinking too much in advance. Yes, that may be quite true. But the thing is, I don’t want to waste my time turning from one guy and another just for fun, for “fancying” someone. Yes, it may be an experience, lessons in life. But wouldn’t that be like, playing around? It’s like you are running a marathon without a goal. You don’t go in a relationship thinking that you would eventually break up. Then why enter it in the first place? You won’t ever finish the marathon if that’s what you do. So you get into a relationship because you have a purpose, a goal. So that is my end point, my purpose, my goal. Of course, if I enter that relationship, it doesn’t mean that it would really end up like I wanted to. Unfortunately, there are breakups and heartaches, fights and disappointments. You can’t really avoid encountering it. You are running a marathon to finish it and reach the end point but there are just times that you commit a mistake or get lost so you get disqualified or never finish the marathon and just quit. You just have to stop. You can’t run the same marathon forever. You have to go another marathon then keep on running. You go into another relationship then look for that endpoint again.

So I’ve cleared that thing up. I even covered the relationship part. Lastly is the support the family part. I’ve covered this topic before with one of my posts before. You may check out there why the ability to support the family is important and not just go marry whenever you want.

That’s it. So to guy who would court me in the future and will be my future “boyfriend”, please be patient. I like you, really. I’m just testing you. ;)

~J̿L̿     #jalaness

P.S.  I hope I’m making sense and not just blabber random things.


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