You see, currently, a job fare is going on at my school. My school hosted it and there are around 40 companies who are willing to hire students, and future unemployed people, like us to their companies. Well, isn’t it that nice? Of course, it is. But the thing is, I’m not applying to even a single company that is in that job fare. Why? Here’s the thing.
So, when I started my review classes for the licensure examination for the psychometricians, I have decided that I WILL FOCUS ON THAT REVIEW. Alongside that resolution, I abandoned my former decision that even before I graduate, I should have a job already. Well, part of me wanted to apply. After all, the only requirement is myself and my resumelink. I have prepared my resumelink and I think that it is quite fine already. The thing that I’m not assured of is myself. I’m not mentally prepared. The thing registered in my mind just days ago. I don’t want to go to a battle ground like that. I may be prepared with a very good gun but my mind isn’t. I’m not ready to shoot. There is no way that I’m going to apply to any of those company in this state.
I’m actually fine doing that. I would like to focus in studying. I’m that type of person. I want this licensure examination to be the only licensure examination I’ll be getting as a psychometrician. I want to get my point straight. BUT!!! (That is italized, capitalized, underlined and in bold. Imagine me saying that in a loud voice with a curling tone matched with raised brows and enlarged eyes. Yes.) But the thing is I don’t want to be a burden to my parents. I mean, I’ll always be a burden, I’m their child after all. But burden, like financially. It’s kind of embarrassing to get money from them when I should already be the one to provide for the family, since I have graduated already. It’s hard for me to ask for money from them even now, how much more would it be when I have already graduated.
But I have to decide. I can’t have both of those choices. Either, not to work, focus on reviewing and still depend on my parents or work, mix working and studying (which is by the way I think not good for me because I think I’ll crumble) and give money to my parents. Well, as for now, I choose the first. Maybe given more time to think, who knows if this decision will change or my perspective will turn to another side. Who knows?