Why doesn’t death of others affect me?

Days ago, I found out that my former teacher in my high school died. Well, our section was somehow close to her even though we aren’t her advisory class. She even cried to us when she had problems with her class. I know I’m supposed to be so sad and regretful and all that. I don’t know why but I’m not.

Actually, some of my classmates in my batch was planning to go to her wake. I told before that I would go with them. Just to go along and say my condolence. But I didn’t go. I told them I won’t be able to go. I just didn’t tell the reason why. Well, I’m somehow sad that she was gone. But not to the point I think my classmates do. But I’m not happy. You could consider it neutral.

Maybe it was just because I really am used to having someone dead. Or maybe it’s just that I prepared. Not that I’m expecting my former teacher to die. But maybe it’s because death is not new for me. I know there is death. And I think it’s just normal. It is a part of a person’s life. And it is the start of eternity.

The only thing I wish for her soul is that she would go to heaven. I wish she had the chance to accept God as savior before she died. And if she didn’t, that I would be disappointed with.

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